The Nature of Love and Trust

I love you.

I trust you.

Are these phrases ever interchangeable? 

Can love or trust exist without the other? 

Think about the ways we talk about and experience love. When someone loves us, we believe that they will be there for us, that we can be ourselves with them, and that they look for the best for both of us in any given situation. Compare that to trust. When you trust someone, you believe that they will be there when they say they will be and will seek to support both of you in any given situation. To me, love and trust are interchangeable. They both grow through committed actions and choices. 

I believe that we are born trusting and loving until we are taught otherwise. 

When you were a baby, you could not care for your needs and cried when something needed attention. That cry was your first step in trusting, believing that there was someone who would feed you or keep you warm. Why? Because you were loved. You kept on trusting until someone or something taught you that your needs wouldn't be met. Maybe that's when you learned that the people you love are fallible or made a poor connection between not being protected and not being loved. I can understand that the idea that trust and love are the same might be confusing for some people. There are many relationships where trust doesn't exist in what should be a loving space. But the wounds that come from these situations can be healed by choosing to love and trust again. We don't feel pain from a broken trust unless some love is present, and vice versa. 

The decision to build/rebuild trust/love is best served before a breakdown of trust occurs. Making trust a primary and proactive component of your relationships diminishes the likelihood or severity of a trust crisis. Whenever the slightest bit of love and trust exists, the chance of building upon that love and trust still lives. Trust and love are never totally absent as long as two people care, communicate, and desire a relationship.

I love you.

I trust you.

I hope that, one day, these become interchangeable for you, too.