One of my favorite questions to ask, and be asked, is, "what are your core values?" The answers are always very telling-- you learn so much by what a person says they value and how they try to honor them in their lives. Core values are those things that guide us by telling the world, and ourselves, that this is what we value and aspire to be. They provide a way to measure our actions, to see if they match up to those values. They aren't a roadmap to your goals. Instead, they are more of a compass that helps guide your decisions every day.
I attribute my successes, personally and professionally, to following these values: trust, honesty, respect, ethics, education. With these as guides, I've been empowered to build relationships and businesses that genuinely enrich myself and the world around me. I haven't always been faithful to these core values, but I have done my best to live by them. When I'm out of alignment with my core values, I feel less impactful and internally divided. It's harder to make decisions that I feel good about and often end up with less than desirable results. Choosing to honor these core values, even when difficult, has made me a better and more effective person.
For core values to be practical, they must be authentic to you. This is one area where you can't just look for easy answers. If you're not sure about what you value, here is an exercise you can use to determine that.
- Where do you spend your resources? The things and people you invest your time, money, and energy in can be excellent clues to what you actually value. How do you spend your leisure hours? Who do you donate to? Where do you volunteer? If, upon reflection, you find that you don't actually enjoy or believe in where your resources or going, this is a chance for you to change that.
- What has consistently shown up in your life? Specific themes and patterns repeat themselves in our lives. You may notice that you have many teachers in your life or that you get phone calls from friends to help them unravel ethical issues. Maybe you've kept a sketchbook since you were 12, or people ask you for advice on their writing. What are the things that keep popping up?
- Where do you feel called to? These are the things and situations where you are at your best and feel at ease and most purposeful. Perhaps you find peace inside of a bookstore or helping people choose equipment before they go on a hiking expedition. Do you enjoy it when a friend calls looking for relationship advice, or would you prefer to help them fix a bookshelf?
Write down the answers to these questions without making judgments. Look for commonalities and make a note of them. What is the shared value of these repeated experiences? For example, if you notice that outdoor activity is an overarching theme, why is that? Is it because you cherish the time that you spent with your family as a child? Then family and relationships are core values that drive your decisions. If it's because you value physical fitness, then health and wellness are core values. Your actions will usually have more than one driver behind them, so, based on this example, the core values may be family, relationships, health, and wellness. Continue on with this exercise until you have a shortlist of values that resonate with you.
It is tempting to create a long list of virtues to follow. While this may look good on paper, the reality is that too many core values will result in a lack of focus on all of them. Choose a few that really resonate with you, that excite you to think about, and make you want to pursue the possibilities within them. Once you've chosen them, share them with someone else so that you can get accountability in following your core values.
0 comments